why did you have to bring MY vagina into the conversation?!

so, apparently i accidentally left myself signed in on aim on greg's computer. his roommate must've hopped on to play poker or something. unfortunately, he talked to brenna, of all people. she saved their conversation to send to me.

nocrustysinmybed: greg reminds me of kevin nealon
cutthroatstalker: lol this isnt kelli shes at work
nocrustysinmybed: is this greg...?
cutthroatstalker: no this is jason
nocrustysinmybed: oooo
nocrustysinmybed: woops sorry
nocrustysinmybed: ok but do u agree?
cutthroatstalker: lol a little bit
nocrustysinmybed: yeah
cutthroatstalker: who is this?
nocrustysinmybed: this is brenna
cutthroatstalker: where are you from?
nocrustysinmybed: here...
cutthroatstalker: in angelo?
nocrustysinmybed: yes
cutthroatstalker: have i ever met you?
nocrustysinmybed: are you greg's roommate?
cutthroatstalker: yes
nocrustysinmybed: ok, then no
nocrustysinmybed: but i've heard about u
cutthroatstalker: yeah i know im a giant pimp who makes brad pitt look like the cookie monster but seriously kelli has to stop braggin about me
nocrustysinmybed: ahaha
nocrustysinmybed: she just cant help herself...
cutthroatstalker: what can she do?
nocrustysinmybed: i know it
cutthroatstalker: maybe i look more like cookie monster /shrug
nocrustysinmybed: she basically just refers to u as greg's roommate
nocrustysinmybed: thats why i recognize ur name
cutthroatstalker: so im bored playing poker so get on with it give me your life sotry
nocrustysinmybed: well i was birthed out of my mothers vagina, then i graduated h.s., now im in college
cutthroatstalker: rofl well i guess thats the short short versioin
nocrustysinmybed: there were a few events in between, but nothing too important
cutthroatstalker: sounds like fun
cutthroatstalker: i too was birthed from the vagina went to highschool didnt finish college now im just and old shithead
nocrustysinmybed: inspiring
cutthroatstalker: you have no idea
nocrustysinmybed: do u have myspace
cutthroatstalker: no i told you im old we dont have myspace accoutns
nocrustysinmybed: apparently
cutthroatstalker: do you have myspace?
nocrustysinmybed: YES
cutthroatstalker: what is it ill go drool over your pics
nocrustysinmybed: ummm....hold on
nocrustysinmybed: http://www.myspace.com/87028207
nocrustysinmybed: brb
nocrustysinmybed: hi
cutthroatstalker: give me a second not doine spanking it
nocrustysinmybed: masturbate away, please
cutthroatstalker: rofl jk
cutthroatstalker: ok all finished
nocrustysinmybed: i hope u cleaned up cause kellye is on the computer ALOT
nocrustysinmybed: i dont want to put her through that
cutthroatstalker: a little semen never hurt anyone
cutthroatstalker: im just curious is that a dancing dick?
nocrustysinmybed: yes do u like it
cutthroatstalker: im not much for the dick sorry
nocrustysinmybed: darn
cutthroatstalker: im not sure a dancing vagina would carry the same allure either
nocrustysinmybed: yeah you make a good point there
nocrustysinmybed: kellye has a dancing vagina
nocrustysinmybed: and big teeters
cutthroatstalker: i have no carnal knowledge of her
cutthroatstalker: and what the hell is a dancing vagina
nocrustysinmybed: it can be whatever u want it to be


i don't know whether to be embarrassed or amused as hell.

maybe half of my friends list will get this

from here

so proud to be a texan right now

Houston suburb objects to mosque plans

KATY, Texas -- A plan to build a mosque in this Houston suburb has triggered a neighborhood dispute, with community members warning the place will become a terrorist hotbed and one man threatening to hold pig races on Fridays just to offend the Muslims.

Many neighborhood residents claim they have nothing against Muslims and are more concerned about property values, drainage and traffic.

But one resident has set up an anti-Islamic Web site with an odometer-like counter that keeps track of terrorist attacks since Sept. 11. A committee has formed to buy another property and offer to trade it for the Muslims' land. And next-door neighbor Craig Baker has threatened to race pigs on the edge of the property on the Muslim holy day. Muslims consider pigs unclean and do not eat pork.

"The neighbors have created havoc for us and we didn't expect that," said engineer Kamel Fotouh, president of the 500-member Katy Islamic Association.

Fotouh vowed to press ahead with plans for a mosque on the 11-acre site, as well as a community center that would offer after-school activities, housing for senior citizens, a fitness center and an Islamic school.

"We just bought it," Fotouh said. "And we are going to use it. We have the right like any one of them."

also:

The dispute began when the group asked Baker to remove his cattle from their newly bought land. Baker agreed but mistakenly thought the Muslims also wanted him off the land his family has lived on for more than 100 years. The rumor spread.

Baker, who makes marble and granite fixtures for kitchens and bathrooms and also owns livestock, said he got so mad he put up a sign announcing the pig races.

(Baker's attempt to offend missed its mark, according to Fotouh. Muslims do not hate pigs, he said; they just don't eat them.)