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my life has become very boring. i'm stuck in a rut, and i don't know what to do to get out of it. something needs to change soon, before i kill myself. i want to get in a fight. a fist fight w/ someone, or just a drop down, drag out screaming match w/ my dad. it's probably going to be a fight w/ my dad. maybe he'll kick me out finally.
i tried to fill out the fafsa online today, but i got confused by the first question. i guess i'll have to wait for my dad to get home to help me. if he ever comes home.
maybe i'm too retarded to go to college. i worry about that a lot. that i'm going to flunk out and be a nothing for the rest of my life. i'd rather kill myself and try again in the next life than be a nothing. i'm also really worried that i'll be stuck in san angelo for the rest of my life. it's not that bad of a place, i guess. but the longer i'm here, the more i feel like i'm slowly rotting away. like living here is eating away at me, a bit at a time. the only thing keeping me here is cecil and a few friends.
i have a plan. after my first year at asu, i'm going to apply to florida state, my real dream college. if i get accepted, i'm leaving. if not, i'll know i was meant to stay here until i graduate. maybe in a year i'll have fewer ties to san angelo. will that be a good or bad thing?
i tried to fill out the fafsa online today, but i got confused by the first question. i guess i'll have to wait for my dad to get home to help me. if he ever comes home.
maybe i'm too retarded to go to college. i worry about that a lot. that i'm going to flunk out and be a nothing for the rest of my life. i'd rather kill myself and try again in the next life than be a nothing. i'm also really worried that i'll be stuck in san angelo for the rest of my life. it's not that bad of a place, i guess. but the longer i'm here, the more i feel like i'm slowly rotting away. like living here is eating away at me, a bit at a time. the only thing keeping me here is cecil and a few friends.
i have a plan. after my first year at asu, i'm going to apply to florida state, my real dream college. if i get accepted, i'm leaving. if not, i'll know i was meant to stay here until i graduate. maybe in a year i'll have fewer ties to san angelo. will that be a good or bad thing?
