spooky_nine: (Misc. - Eyeball Kitty)
2011-02-28 02:07 am
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Someone please draw this for me!

cutthroatstalker: i really wish gilmore girls would come to instant queue
loansharkbliss: that's the one where they talk really fast and respond to questions immediately, right?
cutthroatstalker: i want to take lorelai and rory's faces when they're talking to each other
cutthroatstalker: and just press them closer and closer
cutthroatstalker: until they're squished together
cutthroatstalker: and their skulls shatter
cutthroatstalker: and their brains intermingle
cutthroatstalker: then they would have instantaneous communication
spooky_nine: (Film/TV -  Pokemon - Squirtle)
2011-02-21 01:02 pm

I wish this community wasn't dead

From [livejournal.com profile] mcgriddlefanfic:

The Thrill of Risk, The Taste of Maple

Toby chomped on his fresh, toasty McGriddle in the car on a rainy June morning, Beethoven's 5th playing softly on the radio. He had been camped outside City Hall since dark, waiting for the tip to pay off, but he might have dozed off by now if not for the slightly gooey, but forever delicious McGriddle to nibble on. It was almost hard to focus on his job with the taste of maple tumbling about between his cheeks. But he just had to have it. He would die for it.

But he would also die for a scoop.

A tip at the office of "The Daily Star" had led him to believe that the mayor would be meeting soon with infamous lobbyist Jack Eggsenoff to accept a bribe in exchange for "favors" and Toby Tomf, intrepid reporter, was going to catch them in the act.

Like clockwork, Eggsenoff rolled up in the parking lot in his black Rolls Royce. The sinister looking, pale man swept from the driver's seat wearing his even blacker trench coat and fedora, and a mysterious ebony box.

Toby choked down the last of his McGriddle in a manner more rushed than he would have prefered and chased after the lobbyist. He chased Eggsenoff into City Hall, pushing through the doors and corridors, always just far enough away to not be noticed by the shadowy lobbyist.

Finally, Toby found himself just outside the mayor's office. He turned on his tape recorder.

"Did you bring them?" squeaked the mayor's high-pitched voice.

"Of course I did," hissed Eggsenoff, followed by the sound of him opening the mysterious box. "Just remember, allow my associates to do whatever they want with the city park."

"Yes, yes! Of course Mr. Eggsenoff!" the mayor cackled greedily. "Anything you want! I've been waiting a long time for this!"

The time was now! Toby came around the corner and pointed an accusing finger at the mayor. "Aha! Caught you!"

The mayor, jaw hanging, looked like a child who had just had his pants pull down. Eggsenoff glared at Toby with hatred. On the floor was the ebony box, wide open and displaying what must have been at least 250 frozen McGriddles.

"Of course," Toby laughed. "Only McGriddles were delicious enough to get a man of the mayor's stature to sell out his entire political career. I should have seen it all along."
spooky_nine: (Film/TV -  Pokemon - Meowth)
2011-02-14 09:42 am
spooky_nine: (LG - Black and White)
2011-02-10 12:35 am
spooky_nine: (Misc. - Green Fairy)
2011-02-03 11:19 pm
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I am the Dancing Lady

How have you been, LJ friends? Tell me while I dance for you.

spooky_nine: (LG - Poker Face)
2011-01-14 12:35 pm
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“Great artists must sacrifice for their JESUS OW,” says Iphigenia, jerking her hand away.

“I told you it would sting,” says Nicole. “And this is just disinfectant–you need a rabies shot.”

“They didn’t have rabies,” Iphigenia scowls. “They were just startled by the damn paparazzi.”

“You wore a gown made of live minks to an awards show. You didn’t anticipate some flash photography?”

“I’m sure we all take comfort in your perfect hindsight, Nicole.”

She sighs. “I said the same thing beforehand, so it’s foresight, actually. I also told you to wear panties.”

“What is this,” says Iphigenia, “a nunnery?”
spooky_nine: (Misc. - Eyeball Kitty)
2011-01-03 11:46 pm
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spooky_nine: (/b/ - Party Hard!)
2011-01-01 12:01 am
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spooky_nine: (Film/TV - True Blood - Pam De Beaufort)
2010-12-31 09:57 am
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spooky_nine: (LG - Xmas)
2010-12-25 02:11 am

One bottle down, one more to go.

Merry Xmas.

If you don't celebrate, Happy Saturday.

spooky_nine: (Book - Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
2010-12-22 11:30 am
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spooky_nine: (LG - Alejandro)
2010-12-19 08:33 pm

(no subject)

Construcciones Organicas


conjunto universo
spooky_nine: (Misc. - Classy Dino)
2010-12-18 02:28 am

Are you down with the clown?

cutthroatstalker: http://twitter.com/bigviolentj/status/14959222621995008 aww why didn't you go to that show?!
looooooongcat: because i understand how magnets work

spooky_nine: (Film/TV - Flapjack - Awe)
2010-12-17 06:05 pm
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spooky_nine: (Video Game - The Prince)
2010-12-16 07:17 pm
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spooky_nine: (/b/ - Party Hard!)
2010-12-16 12:37 am

Why would you admit to your doctor what you did?!

Jesus fucking christ, talk about Baader-Meinhof phenomenon!

Dead man in mortuary impregnates woman

The Rolling Stones said it best, “You, you make a dead man cum.” A 38 year old female mortuary worker is being held on $250,000 bond after becoming pregnant by one of her clients-a dead man. The alleged crime took place at the Mourning Glory Mortuary just outside of Lexington, Missouri. Police have charged Felicity Marmaduke with desecration of the dead and necrophilia.

According to a statement made to police by Marmaduke, the alleged victim experienced a post mortem erection while being bathed. Being alone, Marmaduke straddled the dead man and proceeded have sex with him. Much to her surprise, the alleged victim came to orgasm after several minutes. A few weeks later, Marmaduke had a positive pregnancy test while receiving a routine medical exam. Upon telling her doctor the circumstances leading to the conception, the police were notified. Marmaduke was arrested without incident at her dilapidated trailer home a few blocks from the mortuary.

In a bizarre twist, Marmaduke plans to sue the dead man’s estate for child support.
spooky_nine: (Misc. - Bride of Somebody)
2010-12-14 10:13 pm
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Can anyone else offer any insight?

cutthroatstalker: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necrophilia
cutthroatstalker: lmao is that first alert a joke?
cutthroatstalker: or just unfortunate automatic heading caused by too few citations
looooooongcat: which alert? the original research thing?
cutthroatstalker: haha yeah
looooooongcat: yeah i have nfi
cutthroatstalker: hahaha

cutthroatstalker: i want someone to explain the mechanics of female necrophiliacs fucking a dude corpse
cutthroatstalker: do they like, shove a hooked rod down the urethra to make it hard?
looooooongcat: they could also just like..dry hump a leg or something
cutthroatstalker: hmm if i google that do you think i'll be put on any sort of government watchlist?
cutthroatstalker: it's only a class a misdemeanor in texas
looooooongcat: i think google's profile of you will get that much more interesting
cutthroatstalker: haha
spooky_nine: (Misc. - Eyeball Kitty)
2010-12-13 07:48 pm
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